No Comment

When I was a kid, one of my favorite things to watch was the "No Comment" series on the Euronews channel. They showed random stuff. Video only, no comment. I loved how they left it up to me to think of the moral of the story.

***********************************************

Today. The reservation was for 12 people. Two came in and sat down. Chairs as far back, as if the owner of Las Vegas just sat down and there was no room for him at the table. Arms spread on the chairs next to them, legs spread far out. They were basically almost laying on the chairs. "I order for everyone! I drink a shot of vodka. Bring me 2 apple juice and 2 cranberry juice."

Drinks on the way, I brought the menus. "You Russian?". I explained I was Bulgarian. He switched to Russian, as if I was EXPECTED to know what he was saying. I answered in English. Barely looking at the menu he pointed at appetizers and ordered two or three of most. Then the entrees. "One of each. And bring me the biggest lobster you have. Two!" (that's the most expensive thing on the menu)... and then just left.

On the table stayed one girl, quietly drinking tea after tea, after tea. All the apps served. No one there, except for the girl, who kept shooting teas.

All of a sudden the room of our relatively quiet at the moment restaurant filled up with voices. Men in sandals and slippers, dressed in sweatpants with mullets sat around the table. A few girls followed them and sat quietly on the empty chairs. They all felt appropriate to speak Russian to me and I kept having to ask the to repeat what they wanted in English.

The main course filled up the table. Guys spoke loud and ate. The girls quietly served steak to everyone from the plates in the middle.

They were telling jokes in Russian. The good old way I'm used to in Bulgaria. Better yet, they were acting out the jokes, leaving my co-workers in a shock as for what the hell was going on over there. The usual: "You ruined it! I know it in a different way!" reminded me so much of home. It felt so close and yet so far away.

Dinner done, the table was a mess. The main guy called me over. "You like American girls". I explained I'm married to a lovely Bulgarian one. "Yes, here my Russian wife" Pulls out his i-phone and starts browsing through pictures. I didn't care to look, but decided not to ruin my slim chance for a tip. He was showing me pictures of a young girl - completely naked. More and more of those, till he got to the family portrait of him, her and their kid. "I don't fuck her anymore. She's too old - 21. She's just for show. I fuck this now. And this. And this." (more naked girls) I felt awkward and showed pictures of Alex and Sami on my phone. "Aah, big boy. One year?"

He kept showing me pictures. Himself with Obama, with Hilary and Bill Clinton, himself, his wife, and the Obama's in front of the white house.

They may have been from Madame Tussauds, but could I know for sure?

He asked for the check. Signed it to the room. Pulled a wad of hundred dollar bills out of each of the pockets of his sweat pants - so thick - they had rolled up to a complete roll. Pulled two bills and shoved them in the check as a tip. (an 18% tip - average in the US). I checked his ID. Vitaliy from Kiev. 29 years old.