My Own Conspiracy Theory

Driving around Vegas today I couldn’t help but notice all the emptied shopping plazas. The skeletons of the old businesses, on which the economy feasted, were looking at me gloomy and nostalgic. The parking lot, where hundreds of vehicles and excited average Joes with shopping carts were making their way, closer to the entrance of the store, was now empty, dirty and useless. For where a bigger business closed down, it dragged behind all the little fish that were feeding off its waste shoppers. And thus, until the only thriving place left was the thrift store.

The wheel has turned once again. The system is restarted and ready for the next lap of the bone-braking, mind-crunching, life-squeezing rat race! Behold!

The emerging of the human rights mentality devastated the poor rich white people, who owned slaves back in the time and got their wealth through cruelty and abuse. Slavery was kaput and the bosses had to start working again. Work really sucks though, unless you are already conditioned to be a slave and then you’re happy to do it. But the lazy fat-asses, with political and financial power had to come up with something else. There had to be another way to get their slaves back. And so, after a few years, the new realization emerged. Forcing someone into slavery is against human rights! People need to WANT to be slaves. And with a keen eye, someone noticed that people most easily fall prey to their own gluttony. An endless hunger for money and comfort. There it was!

“Give them money and give them comfort, and let them kill themselves or each other for it.” So, as the mind evolved, the keen eye became even sharper and the new idea came out.

Have you looked at people in buffets? I look at them and muse at the fact how they overload plate after plate, full to the top with a mix of potatoes, pasta, gravy, shrimp and ranch dressing on top. I, as a Bulgarian kid was always taught to finish my plate, or I may not have a second. We did NOT throw food away! Period! So, looking at those people helped me notice what the way of thinking here was. Get as much as you can, no matter if you need it or not. Same with every other material object people here put their hands on.

“Let them take anything they ever wanted! Let them buy every gadget, fashion and piece of crap they can put their hands on. Feed them TV, feed them ads, TELL them what they need. Give them credit cards as soon as they can walk, so they’ll be young and stupid enough to entangle themselves in debt before they can drive and far before they will be reasonable enough to drink. They will be our kids in a toy shop and they’ll have to pay for nothing! Or so we’ll tell them. Then, get them a job. Childhood’s overrated! Who cares about running on the streets carefree, as soon as they turn twelve, they need a job! McDonalds will do. They have some credit cards to pay. As soon as they realize what they’ve done, they’ll be so deep in debt, that just the interest alone will keep them our slaves for decades. But assume that they start swimming towards the surface again. We don’t want that. So, we give them two new options: if you want to go to school – get a student loan. If not – get a house and a car, and later, they alone will want a bigger house and a faster car. We got them! Now they’ll turn the wheel for at least the next twenty years…

Oh, no! What just happened? Prices of the houses are soaring? Some of our rats are starting to get well off and comfortable with their money. Their debts are getting paid off, their houses cost them less. They are going on vacations, working less and paying cash??? Before you know it, they are gonna want to know what happens with the politics of their country. Of our country. They will ask us what we’re doing here and might see that we’re doing nothing but drinking margaritas and whipping our slaves! This must end at once!

Crisis!

Take everything they have! Take the roof from over their heads Kick them out on the street!! Take their houses, their cars, their jobs! Rob them of their absolute necessity! Make them start from “GO!” again. We take all the interest they’ve paid so far, we get their houses for free; we look like the god guys, who got robbed by them of all our money, now we have what they need the most. When they’re ready, we’ll sell it all back to them for twice the price.”

At ground zero: “Dude, I’m so relieved! I got out of that expensive house! I rent now. It’s so much cheaper. Now I’m only gonna concentrate on working. Thank God the government and the bank were so helpful! They just took my house back and relieved me from my burden of having my own home. Some day, when I’m comfortable enough, I’ll buy a new house and go from there. Now it’s so cool to start anew! Everyone else does it!”

“Oh, and by the way, as they return to work, we’ll need more money to pay them. Where does that come from? Let’s just make it! Done! Good deal. If anyone sees through our plan, we’ll call them communists. Good job, everyone! Now let’s get back to the hammocks. The ice is melting and the drinks are watering down…the whips are ready to crack again. We’ll “pay” someone to fan us with a palm tree leaves."

What's best about us is that we are good Christians. We are ready to turn the other cheek!