Sweet and Sour

It's a weird feeling, finding out something new, after having known yourself for almost thirty years!

As I found out today, may be my favorite flavor is sweet and sour!
You know how when you get the sweet and sour sauce in the Chinese restaurant it’s always an interesting tickle of the senses. One of my favorite tastes – apple-flavored chewing gum that just fills you with sensations.

I found that this is exactly what I feel when I kiss my son. There’s sweetness to it, with a definite tickle! It’s an amazing feeling; a great attraction, not of the regular “love” kind. All I want to do is hug him and tickle him and make him laugh, and kiss him.
It really grows on you.

And it’s right when you kiss your kid that you feel that tickle, just like the one you get from the sweet and sour gum.
Don’t get me wrong, the “sour” sensation doesn’t always come from the tease of your emotions. Sometimes it just means you have to change a diaper.
Generally speaking, though, I never thought I’d have feelings like that, when I imagined what it would be like to be a father. This is an indescribable feeling that seems to surprise me every day. And that is the beauty of it. After all, why would most people say it’s the best thing in the world? At first I thought I was just an outcast. I couldn’t understand what was so fun about changing diapers, sleeping less, and going out less. However,with time the bond between us got so much stronger. I think I’m starting to understand why mothers become mothers the second they see their child, and fathers…well, later on.

The more I can communicate with Sami, the more I become crazy about him and it’s an amazing new feeling, which I love. I used to see my time, spent with him, more as a chore before, and today it is just pure fun!
Seeing him laugh at Alex and trying to force a smile every time he sees us, makes my day. He does this new thing with his mouth when smiling, stretching it so much, it looks unnatural and pretense, and extremely heart-melting at the same time. As if he wants to show us his endless joy. That gives me that exact tickle.
The slightly sad part is that I see how quickly it’s all changing. People say: “they grow so fast” and it’s the truth, because we don’t develop that visibly as adults and babies change immensely within months. Grown-ups are doomed by the “life-is-like-toilet-paper” syndrome – the further you get, the faster it rolls.
So, what’s the plan?
Try to spend less time looking at the TV screen,the computer, the book and more time looking at your kid, because soon, out of that sweet and sour sensation, only the sour part will remain. When your kid flies away…
… just like you did.