the four worms

During the moments of awakening and enlightenment I feel so full of live! So ready to bite from the juicy apple of knowledge and let it soak through my body. I know at times like this that I am truly living and that there’s no going back to yesterday.

But sometimes I don’t bite right away and like to play with the fresh fruit. I toss it around or just set it aside, so I can admire its shiny surface…until I take too long. And I never seem to remember, that the moment I don’t take that bite, that very instant, the four worms set in. They start from the core and keep the fruit looking attractive on the outside, even though it’s already rotten inside. The worms have their names: Time; Doubt; Fear and Lazy. They clear my head of all ideas, inject the sweetness of the rotten syrup and put me to sleep until the next time something shakes me. I would like to say that the juice of all the nourishment has enriched my soil, to give birth to the next great apple tree, but the truth is that next time there may not be seeds left to flourish. And I may not know it for a while. And when I realize it, it may be too late.

So, I realized today that this pleasure delaying strategy won’t work for long, before I’m utterly shut within my own worm-trap.

There’s no more time to wait. The time has come…for a freezing cold shower!