Ever heard the story of the man, who had cancer and decided to cure himself by talking to it and asking the cancer cells to leave his body. He explained to them that when they kill him, they too shall die, he brought about emotional points of view, scientific evidence, and even presented all the organizations, fighting against cancer to his cancer cells...the results were amazing. The cancer listened and left the man alone. The cancer cells decidd that common sense was better than dying and this was the first ever succesful cancer cure!
Ever heard that story?
NO!
Because it never happened! Because as much as we wish it were true, it was just a dream, and cure is just a chimera to the common folk. Because no matter how you try, your communication with the senseless is futile!
So, imagine this organism, called Earth! It's entire system is infected with deadly virus, called Man! An endlessly gnawing, grazing, killing, destroying, consuming species, that likes to call itself HUMANE! A grotesque, self-proclaimed image of God , completely engulfed by a hunger...and not a biological hunger, but a mutatation, known as power and greed! It's the reason why this virus oversees all the signs, the whispers and the shoves that his host organism sends him! It's the reason why Humanity turns a blind eye to the snapping sound of braking ropes, just before its stronghold of omnipotence falls into oblivion!
I resent you, people! I resent your filthy little habits, ever-unchanging, ever-so-ignorant! I resent your ways and your rules! Your heartlessness, your carelessness! It's because of you, that my son will NOT be able to MUSE at the miracles of the ocean reefs, like his dad did! It's you, why he won't have clean water to drink and will suffer from diseases! It's you, why most the animals I so adore, will be extinct, turned into soups, gravys and exotic dishes, or just carelessly destroyed, while you build your mansions of greed, before my Sami has a chance to see them in the wild! It's YOU, why my son will have to face hunger and poverty, and sickness! Because THIS IS WHAT YOU BRING TO THIS PLANET! YOU VIRUS, YOU LEECH, YOU DISEASE!
With your actions, you bring death!
With your ignorance, you bring death!
With your ways, you bring death!
With your carelessness, you bring death!
With your INACTIVITY, you bring death!
And I only wish your death would bring liberation! But, unfortunately, your death will mean you've grazed away everything there once lived! It will mean that the poor man, who tried to breathe some common sense into his cancer cells....died!
Humanity is cancer!
It's up to you to decide: Are you a benign, or a malignant cell!
So, for Valentine's you all probably expect me to write how this is a corporate bullshit, an artificial holiday, created, so cards, flowers and teddies can be sold and so on...
but instead I'll say: How many holidays are there? Does ANYONE get excited about President's day, Labor day or Martin L. King day? Please! I don't even know why those are called holidays.
What I DO know, however, is that I celebrate LOVE 365 days a year! And today I may just want to mommemorate it by spoiling my loved one a little extra!
(...and I'm so excited, I'm geting spoiled too!)
I Love you, dear alkA! Keep the flame burning through the storms! I'm ALWAYS there to mess things up, but I know how to keep us sheltered too...it's all in the balance, I should hope.
Love is Life! Life is Love! Love is Everything! Everything is Love!
The glory of the moment, when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, when everything seems to be coming to a full circle, when black becomes white again, death gives birth and...Vegas becomes charming.
It was time for a regression to the old excitements. We got a babysitter for the night and went for a walk on the Las Vegas strip. And for the first time after all these years, we could look at the fake Paris, Egypt, Venice and Ancient Rome with grace and forgivness. I've always known that I've healed from a fall when I'm ready to laugh about it. Thankfully, I think soon I might be able to laugh about the past misery.
The dance of the Bellagio fountains, to the glorious "Time to Say Goodbye" was the first majestic sensation we felt about this city. We were in awe and this hypnotic state lasted for all these years. A spiritual experience in the heart of the city, built SOLELY on the idea of making money, may have just been the right lure to keep us here this long. But now, that the snake is ready to let go of its tail, the sight of the fountains, though still pretty, was a mere attraction.
The year of the Rat...the BAD year is coming to an end! The year of the Tiger begins! Time to sharpen our teeth and get out of the gutter.
So, after a nice walk, we finished the night off with some fine friends: drinking, eating, telling jokes and laughing...the Bulgarian way! Delving back into the basics sometimes brings the most joy to life!
The final season of the Office is upon us; the LOST show ends; Alex has a job as a psychologist; Sami is walking and "talking"; we have a neat house, perfectly convenient and with a separate room, just for him; I finally feel respected at work, I nearly fulfilled my lifelog dream to have every CD I've ever wanted, so...it's time to move on, or we'll get too comfortable and die here...
This is the destiny, my friends, the destiny of the Two Emigrants...and a Native!
There was an unusual sound as I emptied my mailbox, full of junkmail...you know...coupons for things you don't need, ads for stores you don't shop at and letters from people, you've never heard of, addressed to Styanao Staniaeauvou, or Stoyan Staneva, or to Alekxsandia Stanout.
But, as I pulled those poor dead trees, just so I can transfer them back into my recycling bin, I heard a nice clinging sound. "A key?...Noo, we haven't ordered anything recently. We're trying to get rid of things." But soon enough, before I know it, my fingers had turned the key into the parcell mail inbox and there I heard the sound they play in movies, when the good guy finds the gold treasury, or the room of the harem. I know that sound distinctly, because that's the sound our fridge used to make, every time after I got back to my parents' home after a couple of months of college, where the only sound my fridge had been making was an echo...
There was a big box there! And it was addressed to me! A present? Something Alex didn't tell me about? But the big sticker on it said "Polska". And then all I had to do was look at the writing. I felt such a wonderful jolt of enrgy going through my body! Such an exciting breath of air! It was from my highschool friend, now known as Mr.P.Stankov, PhD.
I got home and left the box on the kitchen counter. A little trick, my cousine had taught me back in the old times, when receiving a package in Bulgaria was like a holiday for me. You want to know what's in it, but you wait! You walk the dog, you change, get a beer and sit comfortably on the couch. Then, armed with scissors and a knife, you carefully open the box, without rushing or tearing anything. Slowly, corner by corner, tape by tape. And in the end, it's ready...
The first thing I saw, when I lifted the lid was the letter! And who, other than the afore mentioned people from the junk-mail factory, writes LETTERS there days?
When was the last time you sat down, pulled a sheet of paper and started writing anyone a letter?
Well, there it was: "Dear Tyana!" He saw an Operation Ivy t-shirt and got it for me! I mean, I live in the land of abundance and Dr.P found a gift for me, that I needed so badly: a friends love!
So, my dear friend, a lesson learned! Next time I want to show someone how much they mean to me, I'll write them a REAL letter and I'll let them know they're still in my heart!
Remember when you got your iPod? How happy you must have been? All my music in one place! How often, I wonder, do we succumb to the pressures of social standards? Don't we work, eat, drink, get married and make babies, just because of social standards? And who set those standards for us? Do you think it was someone thoughtful, idealistic, or was it just the herd - the masses that built their own jail, a trench dug out by the hooves of the sheep, marching before us. And as the years passed, the groove was getting deeper, as the walls were getting higher, until we no longer could see what was going on around us...let alone - escape.
Why do I need an iPod? Why do I need an iPhone? Because...everybody has them. Because, as I walked into work two years ago!, with my CDwalkman, my co-workers said Get in the 21st century, man! So, since I didn't want an iPod, and the ridiculous $200-300 price tag just didn't cut it for me, I was ridiculed, because I had chosen tostay old-fashioned and listen to my CDs. Then my cell-phone company GAVE me a phone that could play music. So, I kept my $300.
But what about all the rest of the "necessities"? You NEED a flat-screen TV, then you NEED cable TV, you NEED to pay extra for the HBO, the sports channels, the other movie channels...just so you can keep your hypnotized pretty face on the eye-magnet.
I'm guilty, oh, yes I'm guilty still of selling my soul for this material nonsence. As me and alkA look around the house these days, we realize how much LIFE we've wasted, buying THINGS. Life, we've sold, so we could make money, so we could buy things we don't need. And we're lucky, cause we grew up in Bulgaria. We know what it's like to live with next to no material possessions. One pair of jeans, two pairs of shoes and one new t-shirt per year, even if it had to say "I piss on everyone" on it. I used to wear my PizzaHut uniform t-shirt to my band's shows - yes, as a mock, but also, because I didn't care. As skaters we used to buy used skateboards, and second-hand t-shirts, worn out, torn and faded. And we were happier than ever!
So, how about Americans? I was stunned to see how some people couldn't make ends meet with a salary, which is enough for my parents to live a month! (Oh, and by the way they eat and drink as much as their bodies allow them. No, they're not starving at all.) And I saw it then, just as I see it today. Americans NEED the cable TV, the ridiculous car payment, the insane phone bill with 3G internet and applications, the monthly payments of INTEREST ONLY on the credit card debt, not to mention the mortgage for their castles, full of empty rooms, that they forget they've set up as a gym years ago, while the 24 Hour Fitness still sucks up money out of their account every month. What's even better - they don't even go to the gym. And if only it stopped there. Then they need an X-Box, a PlayStataionIII, a Wii, the newest iPhone, the biggest soda and the newest movie. But they don't wanna just rent it. They BUY it! Sometimes I think Bulgarians eat better than Americans, because they can afford it.
Ever wonder why Americans LOVE TO WORK? From early childhood! They start at 13! At that age I was riding my bike all over town, skateboarding and singing around a campfire with my friends. I'll do the best that I can, so as my son will be doing the same, rather than selling burgers with fries to angry overweight assholes.
I've written it before in "Trading a TV for a Fireplace" and I'll mention it here. Nothing beats a night without a TV! You can look your spouse, friend, lover, your parents or kids, or yourself in the eye and experience so much more, than you would, watching the re-runs of Spider Man (America's favorite movie).
Well, what about our spiritual life? The iron grip of organized religion, the churches, the believes, (the donations)...what room do they leave us to experience the nirvana of self-realization, self-observance and a higher state of consciousness?
The social pressures of the herd, my friends, have changed our subconsciousness into a mantra-chanting mechanism of obedience and guilt. What's strange is that sometimes freedom is just a glimpse away, but it's hard to see through the glass-walls, because you don't believe you deserve what you see.
Addendum:
Ever wonder why your PC got too slow? Ever watch the Mac Vs. PC witty commersials? If you own an iPod, press Ctrl, Alt and Delete on your computer, go to Processes and see with how many iPrograms your computer is constantly jammed! Even though you haven't plugged the iPod in for weeks! Seems like your iPod infected your PC. I think you may NEED a new computer, this one's too slow!
