Pain Vs. Suffering

Life inevitably throws harsh lessons at us. And oftentimes our hearts are filled with pain. As we live by our own, as well as the social pressure that life has to always be glamorous. But the truth is that life often sucks. And sometimes it kicks us hard just when we're down. Then we feel pain.

And here comes the first choice: to fight it, deny it and resent it. Or, to simply accept it and embody the wisdom that this too shall pass.

And then, we have the second choice: to overcome the pain by accepting it and letting it run its course, or to perpetuate it into suffering. Then it's our mind, working against us, long after the last life-lesson is over.

So, I'll try to accept the pain and possibly learn to tolerate it. And then, I'll try to spare myself from suffering, as I know I'm then my only true savior or my own worst enemy.

*these ideas come from what I find to be the most inspiring psychotherapy - mindfulness CBT.

What you do, comes back to you!

Just as I was telling a friend that I've almost had it up to here with Manchester and because of this, the UK is really starting to look like a lost cause, he invited us to live in his house in London in April, while he is on vacation!

This would have been a total shock, had we not let him and his girlfriend live in our flat in Manchester last year. It just so happened that while we were conquering France and Spain, they were moving from Australia to the UK. We were quite nervous to let strangers into our apartment, as we had only met them through the University network, but then we remembered that we pretty much own nothing that can be stolen, so we had little to lose and friends to gain... well, I guess good deeds do come back to you. So, do something nice today. Don't ask for payback. Because you wouldn't just be doing it for someone - you'll do it for yourself.

And now you'll get to see some more nice pictures like this one ;-)

Let's talk weather!

As I stumbled out of bed this morning, filled with hope just as almost every morning, I opened the curtains and...they guessed it wrong as usual.

I suppose that forecasters are of bad fame generally, as people like me might be tempted by the idea of blaming them for the weather. But...giving you a 'four days of sunshine coming your way' forecast and slamming you in the face with the usual puddle of gloom is just plain vicious!

Today is alkA and I's date-day. Sami is in kindergarten and we are free to roam the streets and coffee shops of Manchester with joy. Backed up by the promising forecast of last night, this morning I was feeling quite hopeful, despite the fact that the THREE of us are sick and spent the night sniffing, coughing and sneezing. Illness doesn't stop us anymore. After two months you kind of have to get on with your life despite the technical difficulties of tons of tissues and a red nose...

So, even though we could sum up about four hours of sleep for the night, I happily injected a cup of coffee in my veins and prepared the skateboard, to roll Sami into nursery. (A new fashion, taking place in our family - using this means of transportation to make Sami look cool in front of his day-care-mates, as he skates in with his dad.)

And just as we were going out on the street - the most normal for the past.hmm..16 months view - people with umbrellas. This means two things: 1. using a skateboard as an umbrella, and looking quite foolishly instead of cool in front of the other kids, and 2. our date is...well...dwindled from a glamorous journey of actually walking to the usual buses, umbrellas, wellies and mud. Yummy!

And as I, just as most English people, am starting to grow gills in this relentless, never-ending moisture, the UK is in its biggest drought to date. I think this only means one thing - become an amphibian or RUN!

Oh, Poop!

Do you know the joke about the guy that went to substitute for his friend's doctor shift in the hospital one afternoon?

***

So,

The doctor walks out and leaves his friend, who has no idea about medicine to stay in his office.
He returns later that day and asks the friend how it went.

The friend says he saw three patients:

'1st one had constipation. So, I gave him laxatives.'
Doctor says - 'Good job! What happened?'

Friend says - 'He walked slowly at first and then started running'

'So, the second one had diarrhoea. I also gave him laxatives.'
Doctor says: 'What? You shouldn't have! What happened?'

Friend says - 'At first he started running, but then he started walking slowly'

:)

***

Even though there's another bit to the joke, I find this one appropriate as we experienced it tonight!

While playing, Sami said 'I gotta poop, I gotta poop!' and ran out the door. alkA chased him down towards the toilet and half way through the hallway he stopped running and simply calmed down...

I can't describe the mess...

Searching

In these times of constant mental anguish and turmoil, fueled by the fear of what's to come, I again am in a desperate need and search of sources of serenity.

In myself I have only found one answer to the riddle of self-blame and desperation - creativity.

 I wish to myself and to you new inspirations, new ideas and the bliss of attaining fulfillment through creativity. The more I experience, the more I realize that this, along with love is the only true meaning of life and happiness.

Gotta Love London!

Even though it's nearly a year since we went there, I am in a need of a new trip to this fascinating, versatile and fun city! There you can see things, which you never thought existed. Like a street, full of these:

How it took 1GBP to save three people from going insane

Sleep is NOT overrated! And those who tell me that they can jog and smile a whole day after having only a couple of hours of sleep should...get a kid!

In the past month Sami underwent an unbelievable transformation. From being the Christmas Monster who showered us with tantrums and whining most of the holiday season, he became the angel of joy, love and obedience in the new year. It's like we got our new year's gift right after dancing the old year away. It almost felt as if letting him dance with us on that night until he dropped, cured him of all insanity. But the new sigh of relief didn't exactly come without a price. The day tantrums were exchanged for night clingyness and midnight terrors - for us!

It all began with our natural desire to hug him in bed while he was going to sleep, as we so obsessed about our love for the new kid. He seemed to like it too and the reverse effect slapped us in the face like a slingshot. Soon we couldn't free ourselves from his night grip. The cries began as soon as we left the room and lasted for hours. 'Don't go, keep hugging me!' As soon as I found myself reaching out for the bottle with trembling hands, I realized that something was wrong again. So instead we went back digging for the earplugs again. As once more, it was time to Ferberize!

Of course, our hairs started loosing their color and our teeth started falling off again from grinding, I could collect berries in the bags under my eyes and the neighbors' kids were running away as soon as they saw my messy red-eyed face in the building. I was doing just fine. As in addition to the bedtime insanity, the midnight screams appeared. I swear, alkA timed it to exactly 2:12am every night. The first night we went terrified, to see what was happening to him, thinking he had fallen off the bed. But as it turned out, he wanted a banana!

And then, my dear wife had a brilliant idea again, as she in her creativity has been unsurpassed in my opinion. 'Let's see what happens if we leave the light on in the hallway'. And there it was: the light switch became connected through some sort of a WiFi connection to Sami's brain, as by switching it on, the crying stopped. If we only dares switch it off, there it began again. But better yet, with our endless attempts to be as green as possible, we found a nightlight today at the Pound shop! And Sami got his chance to show creativity and customize it with his favorite stickers! Voila! Now it's quiet and I can think again. He is staring with love into his mesmerizing little light on the wall and dreaming the night away with his favorite cars.

And we can finally rest...! Good night!

Adding More Faces and Colo(u)rs!

I am on fire today!

It's been one of those days when my fingers really itch for action. Sadly, Sami built his towers and played with his cars with less help from daddy, but I'm sure I'll make up for it.

Until now I tried to modify the additional pages on my blog, to be a bit more interest-directed but to no avail. Blogspot is quite rigid on page modification and adding more posts to new pages. So, I took the long route and now you can experience my blog bunch all at the same place, with a similar design.

I thought that as much as this 'Bright side' defines me, my fatherhood, my love, my inspiration and my contemplations, so do my love for music, my need for advice as an emigrant and my better-hidden thoughts.

So, once again, without further adue, here's my NEW blog!

In Music I will post about music news, experiences and finds in the world of underground music that I've been delving in for the past 20 years.

In Emigrants' Life I invite you all to join in and send me posts from ALL AROUND THE WORLD!

(Особено на българските си читатели искам да предложа да погаме един на друг и на хората около нас, с най-различни съвети идеи и описания на живота по света, та чак то прозаични неща от рода на това къде да си купим лютеница в Mюнхен, Манчестър или Мелбърн. Ще поставям адекватни лейбъли на всеки пост, за да може да се ориентират всички малко по-лесно. Дано можем да направим живота си по-лесен, весел и полезен.)

In The Dark Side I will include the thoughts that always bothered me, when included in this blog. The things, related to my more depressive, angry and unsettled self.

I hope you will enjoy, read, participate and become an even bigger part of the life of the three emigrants!

Love,

S.

Demigods

There is so much beauty in the omnipotence! In the few short years when kids think that Mom and Dad are some mystical Gods and assign all power, knowledge and capabilities to them, parents can really reap the benefits of all the sleepless nights, junk-covered floors and broken gadgets. I experience this feeling every day now and can't help but believe a tiny speck in my own super-powers.

Broken toys? I fix them.
Hurt elbow? I kiss it.
Coughs and sneezes? Mom has just the right tools.
Bored? Dad has a bag full of foolish tricks to make Sami laugh.
Scared? Like from watching the horror movie Lord of the Rings for example? Mom will hug you and the monsters immediately become as timid as elves.

And so we breathe these minutes with full breaths, for we know that before we wake up, the little cuddly, curious, trusting, loving creature will be a relentless teenager, just like the ones we used to be.

Who is the Scariest?

...no wonder dinosaurs got extinct...

Finish > > > > > > > > > > > Start

The sleep is a kid,

The washes are dished,

The cleaned is house,

The done is laundry.

It’s time about

I feet my lifts up

And ask:

Why feel it does

That we things always do

In order the wrong?

We jobs had,

Then we school to went.

We money had,

Then we school to went.

We baby a had,

Then we school to went.

We home a had,

Then we rent to went.

We cars had,

We feeted them for our switch.

We  security had,

For switched we madness it.

Our wiser is kid than us!

!snottuBnimajneBerAeWknihTI

!rehtOhcaEdevoLeWerofeBrehtOhcaEdevoLeWtsaeLtA

2012

I have to admit - things really weren't looking up here in Gloomington towards the end of 2011. And this time I'm not only talking about the weather. Our celebration plans and ideas were shrinking just like the availability of our scarce friends.

At first we thought we'd be invited to Sami's best friends' house. I wonder what could have given us that idea...aah, yes - the fact that we were invited there...at least until Dec 30th, when we called to check what was the plan and they told us that we're invited early, as they didn't want to stay up late. What? I was under the impression that on New Year's Eve you are supposed to wait until midnight. I wonder that gave me that idea. So, naturally, we cancelled and decided to use our organizational skills and swiftly make our own party.

We pulled out a piece of paper and started writing down our long 'friends' list. Ok, so sadly one of the couples were in Thailand, but there's plenty more. Right? Yes. The other couple - C's not feeling well, she'll stay at home and T. wants to go out. Hmm. ok. Now we're left with the couple of which we only know half, but what the hell - we invited them. Nope, they already had plans. And apart from all of our imaginary friends, all of whom attended, on the 31st we were left to our own resources. The three of us. So, naturally, my mood sank a bit, as I am just so used to the biggest parties on that day.

But then the New Year's miracle happened! It turned out that we didn't need anyone. Yes, it did take an amazing dinner of salmon with a special anchovi/rosemary sauce, a broccoli and Gorgonzola salad and some wine, but then and there we transformed our living room into a dance floor and dropped all of our concerns, worries and prejudices. Sami was unbelievably excited to be allowed to do everything - yes, everything he wanted to - climb on the tables, jump on the couches, throw pillows at us and most of all - dance, dance, dance! The music was so loud and powerful that it filled us with energy and the three of us just danced relentlessly.

The 'HAPPY' was unleashed and ruled our little party until 11, when (3 hours later than his usual bed-time) the little one and all the imaginary friends chose to go to bed. And I must admit - laying there in his dark room, telling him a bed time story, I barely managed to pull myself out of the swamp of dreams. But thankfully, in the other room was still ultra loud and helped me stagger out of my son's room (I just don't know how he managed to start snoring five minutes later).

Alex was dancing in front of the window and I lay on the couch. Was that it for me? I made one more effort to dance just 40 more minutes. And that was when the music grabbed us both and carried us right to our happiest place! It was a magical moment of meeting 2012 with Champagne and love!

Yes, this was the Happiest New Year's Eve ever! It turned out that all I needed was my best friends - alkA and Sami!

Hope you all spend 2012 with the right people and in the right place, for this is how magic happens!

Cheers