Keys to The Doors

a poem I enjoyed..

I loved your eye of wonder: your third and fourth and fifth years spent astonished,
widening your eyes at each new trick of the world - 
and me standing there,
solemnly explaining how it was done.
The moon, the stars, the rainbows, 
photographs, gravity, the birds in the air,
the difference between blood and water.

In true life? you would say, looking up
and I would nod, like some broken-hearted sage,
knowing there would be no answers soon
to all the big questions that were left,
to cruelty and fear,
to age and grief and death,
and no words either.
And you, like me, will sit and shake your head.
In true life? 
Yes, my sweet, strong one, I'm afraid there is all this as well,
and this is it: true life.


by Robin Robertson

Buddies

Parenthood. Never what I expected. So much more difficult than I thought. And now - so much better than it was. These past few weeks I can feel a new fun era of fatherhood emerging. Sami is now a person with opinions, likes, dislikes, and even a stance on some serious issues such as the dinosaurs still live and some train-tracks near our home in Brisbane no longer in use, are in fact millions of years old.

He is at the stage where he wants to do everything himself - make his breakfast, pour his water, bring me another beer from the fridge, massage mommy, drill holes, tie screws, vacuum the house...It's overwhelming of course and difficult as hell as A and I both know he'll drop, spill, mess up, and break things. But we try to bite our tongues and let him be...as much as we can before he fills his sleeve with water when pouring himself a glass.

The most amazing part of it all is the communication - in a funny Englo-Bulgarian we raves about dinosaurs, about "The Night at the Museum", about fossils, sea creatures and not eating animals. Ever! He cannot comprehend how people slaughter a cute little creature and put it on their plates. We never forced him to be vegetarian, on the contrary - offered him meat so he could choose. But we did explain where it came from, so Sami won't grow in the denial and oblivion most others do thinking that there is no connection between the life, the slaughterhouse and their plates.

Our games are so much more fun these days that fatherhood really grows on me. Oh of course, I still need a glass or four of wine at the end of the day, to strip off the wHining but at least I am now more tired than flustered.

When we were on our little campervan trip around the beaches of North Queensland, we set up a little surprise for him - fossil digging at the beach. And that made his trip! He was mesmerized! And the friendship grew even stronger...

So to those of you, tired, frustrated and confused by parenting, hiding behind masks, so they can meet social expectations of being perfect moms and dads, I can gladly say - it will be fun! And that fun may last for a very short time before you get rejected by your teenager. So, embrace it and leave facebook for the moments when you REALLY will have no chance to roll little cars down the cabinet or play with dolls. Live in the now!